Imagine My Surprise...

Had a really lovely day today. Calm. Sweet. My sister and her wife visited and they brought a delicious lunch.

And a little while after they left, I signed on to the bank account to see what had cleared and determine if I needed to move any money.

And imagine my surprise and delight when there was a deposit in there for $5800.

I guess that means I won!

I spoke to my sister and she expressed some reasons I should not actually send the forgiveness letter. I wasn't sure I agreed with her, that she might be taking things from the past and attributing them when they don't apply to today, but it did give me pause to wait a bit.

I was working on my gratitude journal when it occurred to me that it was all well and good for me to get to a place of forgiveness, but, there were two things.

1) I cannot control how it is received on the other end, and I'd rather not send it than to have it be misconstrued in any way. And..

2) I can forgive him for what he did to me, what he allowed to happen, but I do not under any circumstances condone what he did to my girlfriend, who is the sweetest soul on the planet. That shit right there....he doesn't get a pass for that. With that, there is no blaming the wife.

So. I wish them well. I'm really fucking glad not to have to deal with them anymore. Ever. That is the best feeling yet.

When I read the things that she wrote about that morning, things they both agreed upon...it was so crazy and I felt soooo bad....and  I realized my whole life used to be like that.

Not any more.

I am so grateful for the validation, vindication and that it's finally over.